1. Offer all tsinelas to them as peace offerings
Now, we wholeheartedly believe that all chemical weapons will eventually become useless against this clearly superior specie so we might as well give up our only tool that could possibly help us in mounting a rebellion, which are our ever trusty tsinelas.
Yup, let's just put all the tsinelas and flip flops in the world on some kind of boat and let it sail aimlessly until it eventually sinks to the bottom of the South China West Philippine Sea and hope the cockroaches will show us mercy in exchange.
2. Let them have their fill
To keep our crawly conquerors appeased and busy, we might as well give them something to munch on (that hopefully won't be our soft and admittedly delectable-looking human bodies). These supreme beings generally like moist areas and will be attracted to sweets, meats, and starches.
3. Have them "infest" social media!
There was a trend a while back that had people taking selfies with cockroaches on their faces and in their mouths. This just shows that people love seeing cockroaches on their feed. While we salute these avant-garde artists, we think we should go even further by having thousands of them just crawl all over our bodies for AT LEAST ten minutes. We mean, might as well get that sweet, sweet YouTube ad revenue.
4. Put ourselves in their shoes rather than squishing them under ours
We get that our teeny brains have not the capacity to fully fathom the greatness of being an actual cockroach, but we MUST try. We have to understand and come to terms with the grave faults that we have committed against our magnanimous masters by reliving their darkest times captured in great literature such as Cockroach Simulator 2016 and A Bug's Life.
5. Make the Cockroach Celebratory Dance in FIFA 15 A National Treasure
There's nothing that shows more undying devotion than performing an interpretative dance for our crawly kings. We could do this whenever we have a reason to celebrate or when we want to show our absolute submission to their overwhelming power. Because if we let them think that we're happy serving them, which WE ARE HAPPY, MAM/SIRs (in case they learn how to read), then maybe they won't slaughter us while we sleep.